Placing a Child for Adoption?
Let me introduce myself, my name is Sandi Quick. I am the director of Brighter Adoptions Inc., a licensed child-placing agency in the State of Utah. I have been involved in adoptions for twenty-two years and have loved every minute of it. It is my passion to build families through adoptions and to provide loving service to expectant mothers desiring an adoption plan.
I can’t imagine being in the situation that you are. It must be terrifying to feel like the decision you are about to make involves complete and total strangers. Besides not knowing me personally, you haven’t yet met the family you will choose to adopt your child. All of these are huge things to be dealing with on top of an unplanned pregnancy and whatever else may be going on in your personal life. You may be wondering…
- How do I know who to trust?
- How will I know which family to choose?
- How will I know which agency to work with?
Do you find yourself always questioning if you are even making the right decision?
I can assure you that these feelings and questions are normal. But let me also assure you that if you choose to work with Brighter Adoptions, YOU will not be a stranger to me. I genuinely care about you and your comfort and needs. I will not ever disappear on you, or leave you feeling alone. I started this agency because I know that birth mothers need to feel understood and supported emotionally, not just financially.
My phone is open to you all of the time. Do you ever feel the need to just talk to someone and to be reassured? Me too!! If you require relocation and housing from us, I will be there to welcome you and answer any and all questions you have about the program.
If you are not comfortable living alone in one of our furnished apartments, I am happy to put you with one of our host families. There is nothing wrong with needing a little more support. It is scary to be in a new, unfamiliar place and depending on strangers to take care of you. It takes a lot of blind trust on your part. You have more courage than I do!
I have worked with birth mothers for years and years and I honestly mean it when I say, they are some of my favorite people. I have never been more in awe of the character, strength, courage, bravery and grace that one human can possess. There is no greater act of love than to put that tiny one’s needs above your own desires.
I am an adoptive mother myself and simply cannot imagine my life or family without my children in it. The birth mother’s of my children are truly incredible people. I am in awe of their strength, wisdom, and grace. Because of these women’s selfless actions, I am privileged to have and raise these beautiful people and provide opportunities for them that their first mothers were not able to at the time of their births. I have a deep and loving respect for these women. We honor them and speak of them in loving and positive ways. None of my children feel they were, “abandoned” or “not wanted,” they feel they were CHOSEN.
- It was the choice of their birth mother to provide them with opportunities, that she was not able to, by making an adoption plan.
- They feel like their birth mother CHOSE our family for them
- and they feel like they were CHOSEN by us.
There are No Accidents in Adoption
We believe that every child goes to the family it was intended for. Adoption has personally touched my life. I hope to positively touch other’s lives by fulfilling my passion as an adoption worker and hope to spend a long time serving birth mothers through this agency. They are some of my favorite people.
If you are currently pregnant and desiring to make an adoption plan for your child, please contact me. I am here to support you and provide you the services you may need.
- You are not alone.
- Help is available to you.
- We have been involved in adoption services for over twenty-two years.
- We are here to support you and assist you during this difficult time.
- We have carefully screened families waiting to adopt that you may choose from,
- A full-time staff ready to assist and support you.
- You have the opportunity to plan and select the kind of adoption you want.
- We have a counselor to help you work through your feelings and enable you to make the best decisions possible.
- We have housing available to you if needed.
- We will provide you with medical care. We work with some of the best OB docs in the state.
- We pay for your travel expenses,
- And, offer financial assistance through your confinement period.
Common Adoption Misconceptions
There are a lot of birth moms who have not been able to remain clean during their pregnancy. Addiction is a disease and there will not be any judgment passed because your unborn child has been exposed. There will be no referral made to authorities or welfare services. If you are making an adoption plan, there is no reason to file a report.
We have a large percentage of moms taking Methadone, Suboxone, and Subutex. We have moms out here who go to the clinic for their meds and attend NA meetings for support. We have moms on probation, parole, and some that are currently incarcerated. None of these things will be a reason that you aren’t provided adoption services. We have families open and willing to take babies who have been exposed in utero. We always have families willing and able to adopt these babies.
Though this one isn’t as common of a concern, I have heard it a few times. I will agree, there is a lot of paperwork! But we can help you! If you do not feel like you can complete ALL of the paperwork, Shaylee or I will be happy to help you with it. We can’t sign your name or complete the legal paperwork for you, but we can help with all the rest. If you are truly letting paperwork stop you, call me and I will help you.
Your privacy is one of our top priorities. We will do all in our power and within the scope of the law to protect your privacy. When you relinquish your rights to a child, besides the agency you are working with, and the medical facilities providing care, the only other departments that will know your identity are the Department of Vital Records in the state you deliver in and the Court of Law that the adoption is finalized in. There are very strict privacy laws in place for your protection. Once an adoption is finalized, the records are sealed. If you want a completely closed adoption, we will protect your identity.
It is never too late to make an adoption plan. I have been called when a mom is en route to the hospital in an ambulance. I have also been called when baby is 2, 3, 6, 12 weeks old. There isn’t a correct timeframe to make an adoption plan. If you feel like you can’t parent and wish to relinquish your rights, call me please. I don’t care if you are five months pregnant or 9 months pregnant. I can work with you even if the child is already a year old…. I have encountered a few moms who have felt trapped and didn’t think it was possible to do an adoption because they waited so long to contact someone. They feel they have no options because they waited until the last minute so they simply took the baby to a hospital or fire station. It is never too late to make an adoption plan. Call me anytime!!!
In some cases, I can see why it would be easier to leave your baby with your mom, or your friend, while you get on your feet. As long as you know that the people you are leaving the child with have the resources and stability to care for your child like he or she is their own… I get it. But let’s be honest, is that what they want?
Brighter Adoptions has families who have been waiting years to have a child of their own, and:
- have saved thousands of dollars to adopt.
- have passed background clearances and physicals.
- have been screened to ensure that they have the temperament, intelligence, and physical stamina to parent a child.
- have been interviewed by Mental Health Professionals to verify their emotional fitness.
- have undergone intrusive investigation into their finances.
- have verified with multiple people that they are indeed people of high moral character.
We do not place babies with just anyone.
Applicants are put through a battery of screenings just to become approved to be adoptive parents.
Has the person you are considering leaving your child with been adequately investigated and trained?
You may think it’s easier to let your relative or friend care for your baby, but what happens when things don’t work out? You are ultimately responsible for the welfare of your child. If you want to let someone else care for that child, please do the greater service to your child and consent to their adoption so they can be placed into a forever family who wants nothing more than to be their parent.
It is not uncommon to hear this sentence from potential birth mothers. It is a common misconception to think that adoption is like foster care. IT IS NOT! There is no money, or grants, or funding for adoptive parents. An adoptive parent is considered no different than a biological parent. Once you relinquish your rights, full care, custody, and control is given to the agency. We pass that on to the adoptive parents and we monitor the placement for six months to ensure bonding and proper development. Once the six months is up and we are satisfied that the best interests of the child are being served, we consent to the adoption during an open court hearing. At that time, the Judge says, “This child will now and forever be considered no different than if he or she had been born to the petitioners.” The agency is no longer involved and the adoptive parents are the child’s forever parents.
Nobody gets a check for being a parent. These parents are adopting because they want a child. It costs a lot of money to adopt. There are no financial benefits.
If you wish to have a completely closed adoption, your name will NOT be shared with the adoptive family. If the adoptive family doesn’t know your name, it would be very difficult to track a person down. There are legislators pushing to make a law that allows adoptees the right to access their original birth certificate when they reach adulthood. The laws are different in all states. If this is something that you are concerned about, call me and we can figure out what the laws are in the state you reside, or in the state you will give birth.
This is a normal fear and one that I think may be alleviated by talking to adult adoptees. Many birth moms feel like the grown adult child will be upset with them when or if they find them. This is just not the norm. Most adoptees are curious about their biological family and want to have a relationship during adulthood. Adoptees are normally just looking so they can tell you THANK YOU for making the choice that you did.
I wish I knew what a typical birth mother was….
No two people are exactly the same. It would be irresponsible of us to think that all birth moms are the same and all placing their babies for the same reason. This is just not true!
I have worked with birth moms who have been as young as thirteen and as old as forty-five. I have provided services to college grads with exceptionally high IQs and I have worked with moms that were mentally disabled and just about everything in between. Every person has different needs and requires different services.
I have provided adoption services to moms who were victims of a sexual assault that resulted in a pregnancy. I have worked with moms who were married and had other children and didn’t feel they could provide for one more child.
There is no one size fits all mentality at this agency. Have you ever felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole? Hopefully you never feel that way with us. I like to borrow Burger King’s slogan and tell you that you can have it your way at this agency!
We work with every race and ethnicity, every socioeconomic class, every age and ability.
There are many different attitudes and thoughts about adoption and the reasons for placing a baby vary just as greatly as personalities do.